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your journey begins at sunset
Truth is stranger than fiction 
3rd-Aug-2006 01:30 am
angel
The last two weeks have been a whirlpool of cloudiness, sadness, hope, effort, and confusion. I have, however, accumulated some new music, which is becoming more and more pleasant to listen to. For instance the song listed below that I am listening to right now. I heard it on the radio, and I actually made the effort to look up what it was they played. I like it. Recently, I have also enjoyed lots of Jewel, especially her song 'Goodbye Alice in Wonderland'.

It's four in the afternoon
I'm on a flight leaving L.A.
Trying to figure out my life and
My youth scattered along the highway

Hotel rooms and headlines
I've made a living with a song
Guitar as my companion
Wanting desperately to belong

Fame is filled with spoiled children
we grow fat on fantasy
I guess that's why I'm leaving
I crave reality

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
whats been missing in my life

I'm embarassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche
I hit the bottom when I reached the top
but I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart
I thought you had to love me
But you did not

Yes, a heart can hallucinate
If it's completely starved for love
It can even turn monsters into
Angels from above

You forged my love just like a weapon
And turned it against me like a knife
You broke my last heartstring
But you opened up my eyes

So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
That was not love in your eyes
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching
For whats been missing in my life

And growing up is not an absence of dreaming
Its being able to understand the difference between
The ones you can hold and the ones that you've been sold
But dreaming is a good thing
Cause it brings new things to life
Pretending is an ending
That perpetuates a lie
Forgetting what you are
Seeing for what you've been told

Truth is stranger than fiction
this is my chance to get it right
Life is much better without all of those pretty lies

So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
You can keep your yellow brick road
Cause there is a difference between dreaming and pretending
These are not tears in my eyes
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
They are only a reflection of my lonely mind finding
I've found whats missing in my life


I'm starting to feel better after all my drama this week. Well, perhaps 'better' isn't the right way to describe it. I have felt for the last week or two that I have had a storm of emotions surrounding me, a big black cloud, and it has just now settled into more of a slightly thick fog. It's all still in my head to some extent, but I have realized there is nothing I can do about all my emotions, and I'm trying to let it all rain out. It's happening slowly, but it seems to be clearing so far.

On a happier less emo note, I get to go to a Jazz Club in Denver this friday with my friends from my Maymester class (Emily S, Nicole, and Kirsten). I'm excited to get to spend some time with them. I really wish we had spent more time together over the last two months, and I plan to keep in touch better with them all from now on. On sunday Taylor is celebrating her birthday! And I'm really excited to join in on that celebration too down in Boulder. She's another person I love dearly and just do not get to see enough of. I need to try harder. But along the lines of trying harder, I've at least been getting some things done today. Like.. laundry! A month overdue... I actually ran out of underwear (hard to do with the amount I have. I'm an underwear shopping addict) But yay for now having clean clothes, and a washer and dryer where I can do it all in the comfort of my house without paying the water bill. w00t.
Comments 
3rd-Aug-2006 06:16 pm (UTC)
I need to do laundry as well... you should do it for me! :-D But since I already know that answer I will do it myself. You are gonna have to tell me how the Jazz Club is. I've heard good things but have not been able to go myself.
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